Smile & Laugh

I missed Ariel a lot today. How will I smile and laugh this Purim? I wrote this in the hope that it will help me…

I tip-toe into the children's room early in the morning. My 2-year-old is sound asleep. It is time for me to take her older siblings to school, so I need to wake her and bring her to the car. I feel so bad to interrupt such a peaceful and deep sleep!

I whisper her name and a sweet smile forms on her lips. Her eyes haven’t even opened! Yet she smiles subconsciously…   What an innocent and carefree way to wake up! 

I wonder what she is so happy about this early in the morning…

I look into the eyes of my baby.  I am feeling too rushed and overwhelmed to smile. Yet just making eye contact with me brings a huge smile on his face, as he flaps his arms excitedly. 

I wonder what he’s so excited about…

My big girl comes home from a two day sleep-over that she had at her friend’s home. She runs into my arms, giving me a tight and joyful hug. She spontaneously bursts out into contagious and care-free laughter!

I wonder what she is so ecstatic about…

Did I used to smile and laugh like that? With such ease, and for no particular reason? 

I think we all did at some point. Joy is the natural state for a human being, afterall. It’s just that life “happens” and all of this “stuff” comes our way, making it so much more of a challenge to smile and laugh freely. 

How do we go back to that? How can I restore that natural, innocent and care-free joy and peace? 

“Az yemaley schok pinu” – Dovid Hamelech prophesizes in Psalms about a time when joyful laughter will fill our mouths. This is the time of Redemption, when our natural joy will be restored. 

There has got to be a way to attain that feeling now, in preparation for that glorious time. 

Perhaps I can follow my children’s lead?

Perhaps if I practice a little bit of humility I can succeed?

Can I feel peaceful and content before my eyes  even open in the morning, praising Hashem for another day of life?

Can I look deep into the eyes of someone I love and share a soulful smile?

Can I embrace a friend and laugh freely? 

If I did it at some point in my life, I must be able to do it again. 

I want to smile until the entire Universe will smile along with me.

I want to laugh until the entire Universe will laugh along with me.