Visiting Moti

Today I had a taste of the future...

It has been over six weeks - 45 days to be exact - since my son Moti left to Camp Gan Yisroel in Montreal.  It is the camp where Dov celebrated his 7th birthday during the summer of 1985, and spent just about every summer there until he was Head Counselor the summer before we got married in 2001. 

This was Moti's first time away in overnight camp, so sending him for two months was a big deal.

I had been missing Moti so much, it actually hurt!  It's hard to describe my longing for him during the last few weeks, without being able to see, hear or touch him.  It's as if a part of me was missing... I think that this pain has been amplified and intensified because of the loss of my brother this year...  There was definitely a similar trigger for me whenever I walked by Moti's room, saw a photo of him, or heard the sweetness of his voice on a recording he made for me.  It was a recording of him playing his keyboard and singing a melody he composed...  A feeling that felt not so different than the longing I have for Ariel ob"m...

Where are you Moti? What are you doing now? Are you happy?  Are your bunk-mates being nice? Do you miss home?

But my "Yiddisheh Mameh" concerns were comforted by the Friday morning 60-second-phone calls I received.  After a quick hello, he'd say "Mommy, I have to go now".  I guess that means he's having fun?

Dov graciously agreed to my wild idea of both of us taking the flight to visit Moti on visiting day.  We also wanted to be there for my nephew Mendy, my brother Ariel's son, who is also in camp.  As we drove down the windy paths of Chemin De La Minerve in the Laurentian Mountains of Quèbec, toward the campsite, Dov shared his excitement to see Moti in "his" camp.  He described how every single turn, bend, tree, and rock in this camp is saturated with memories, of summers filled with fun, friendships, and good-old growing up. 

As we parked our car, though, I could barely hear him anymore.  My heart was beating too loudly.  I'm about to see MOTI!!!!!  I'm screaming inside, trying to control my wild excitement.  I reminded myself NOT to embarrass the poor kid.  Is it his fault I'm a mother overflowing with emotions??? ;-)

We approach the gorgeous lake on camp grounds, with the Camp Flag proudly flapping in the breeze, and hundreds of boys getting into their "Line-Up" positions. My eyes are anxiously scanning the swarms of sweet faces with yamukahs and tzitzis flying.

Where's my Moti???

My heart is pounding with excitement.

I'm about to see my Moti!!!

And then I spot him.  I see his dimples from across the large grassy field....He's ALIVE!!   As we embrace, I am fighting a sea of tears, from weeks of yearning and built-up emotions.

I remain silent, remembering my commitment to not embarrass the boy.  But in my mind I call out, "Oh Moti, please don't leave again!  Stay with us forever.  The day you were born was the last time I held you in my arms with such joy. I don't want to let go!"  But he wiggled away to join his friends again. 

And I took a step back... I think that I just had a teeny tiny taste of what it might be like when Moshiach comes.

There is actually a blessing that is said after seeing someone that you have not communicated with or seen in over a year.  In that blessing of “Baruch... mechayeh hameisim” one is thanking G-d Who revives the dead.  Reviving the dead?  I think I can now appreciate the connection!

One of the Thirteen Principles of Jewish Faith, is the hardest one (in my opinion) to truly believe.  It is the belief in the Resurrection of the Dead.

So I looked up the words of the Prophet Isaiah, to see it black on white.  He writes: "Your dead shall be revived, my corpses shall arise; awaken and sing, you who dwell in the dust…”

It's for real, everyone.  This ain't just a one-day-visiting-day experience.  This is going to be forever and ever! 

All the aching, all the longing, that indescribable pain we experience now - will vanish at that moment.  Not just vanish, it will be replaced with proportionate ecstasy when we embrace our loved ones once again. 

Today I had a teeny tiny taste of what it may feel like - and I can't wait to experience the rest. 

Let us prepare for the happiest tears we have ever shed.  Ever.

 Click here for a short video of Moti at Line-Up on visiting day at CGI Montreal.