The Cry-It-Out Method

I have not slept in seven months. 
No kidding. 
It's starting to get to me. 

Yakov Ariel, my baby "Arik", just didn't seem to fall into a good sleep-routine like the others did. 

After trying some gentle sleep-training methods, I realized I needed to use the approach I was avoiding.  I would have to listen to some crying.

So after much thought and discussion, Dov and I braced ourselves for a few sleepless nights - for the sake of getting normalcy back into our lives.  I lovingly explained to Arik what we were going to do.  "Yakov Ariel, you are big and strong now.  We know you can sleep the full night.  It will be better for you, better for Mommy.  We will be right here in the room next to yours.  And we will play more in the morning... I love you sweet boy..."

Yakov Ariel cried a lot.  It was painful to listen to.  The poor kid!  He just wants his Mommy! He wants me to hold him close, to nurse him. 

As he cried, I stood outside his room listening carefully.  I kept reminding myself - it's either him crying for some time now, or me crying lots later from sleep deprivation!! 

I listened out to hear - is that just fussing... or real crying?  Has he reached hysterics... or is he starting to settle?  Every few minutes Dov and I took turns going in to soothe him, tell him we love him, and help calm him down. 

It is so hard to hear him call for us and refrain from running to him!  Yet I know it's good for him...  Soon he will be able to settle himself and sleep so deeply.  This will be behind us. 

Soon it will be morning and I will scoop him up into my arms and hold him close.

This morning, after my first good night's sleep in ages, I thought to myself: G-d is our parent.

He is good.  He is only good.  Sometimes He wants something for us that is so good, it requires some "training". Sometimes He opts for the Cry-It-Out method with us - His children. 

Oh, but He is listening!  He is keeping it way more controlled than we can imagine!  We may cry and cry at night.  We may be in such deep pain, it is excruciating.  We feel abandoned!  Where on earth did He go???  We want to feel Him close! 

Yet He is mighty close.  He is carefully monitoring this painful process, making sure we are not completely losing it.  He sends us various forms of comfort and layers of support.  And believe it or not, He is crying with us. עמו אנוכי בצרה.

I find it amazing how in the morning - when I come and take sweet Arik out of his crib - he is all smiles, giggles and cuddles, as if nothing happened last night. 

Yes - we also wake up in the morning - and suddenly all is well!  We are in love with G-d all over again.  It seems like last night was just a bad dream. 

But here's the thing:  Hashem has way more resources than us, infinitely more resources.  Hashem has an awesome method to give us the peace we need.  It's a super-gentle method He will use when Moshiach comes.  A method that can bring endless growth to the entire universe - with no tears!  With no pain!  Yes - it is gain, WITHOUT pain!  It's a method He invented thousands of years ago, when He created the world.  This method is not very complicated for Him at all. 

In fact, He plans to begin implementing it any moment now. 

So hang in there.

He's coming to scoop us into His warm and loving arms.